A monthly donor calls to pause her gift for three months. What would you do, and what would you avoid?

I would pause the recurring commitment for the agreed period and note the reason.

1. Pausing keeps the commitment, its schedule and the donor's giving history intact, and records that this was a deliberate, temporary change rather than a lapse.
2. That matters for retention reporting. A donor who paused and resumed is not the same as a donor who churned, and if the system cannot tell them apart your attrition numbers are wrong.
3. What I would avoid: deleting the commitment and recreating it later, which loses history and makes the donor look lapsed; setting the amount to zero, which corrupts projections; and recording refunds, which misstates the financial record because no money was taken.
4. I would also make sure the stewardship side is handled — a paused donor is a retention opportunity, and the pause end date should generate a follow-up rather than a silent resumption.